Dear Yahoo! Games: Please Stop

This article graced the front page of Yahoo’s Featured stories, a place where seemingly important stories are bumped down by random entertainment gossip and faulty “advise” from the leading “experts” at Yahoo’s Love and Romance Division.

Console Wars: Wii Still Short

Suffice it to say that Yahoo goes on to tell us, again, that the Wii is still sold out around the country and that the PS3 and 360 are still in a so called “battle” for second place. There really isn’t any new information in this article, just the same crap these video game “analysts” keep spoon ing us gamers in a vain attempt to make us care about their opinions. Also, according to this article, all of these analysts from all over the world are apparently betting on the PS3 to pull a 180 on the 360 (you see what I did there? This is the kind of lame ass joke I don’t want to hear when reading your opinion on video games). So I will propose a simple question for them: Why the hell should I listen to you?

Back in November of 2006, when the Wii and PS3 were just about to be released, all of you analysts hyped the PS3 so much that I almost (almost) went out and beat one with a sledgehammer out of spite. These were the analysts who said the Wii’s novelty would wear off in a year, and that there would be no way for it to keep its momentum going. Hell, you said 2007 was the year the PS3 would take on both Wii and 360, making a triumphant comeback from the pits of despair. You’ve been wrong this entire time, why should I start listening to what you have to say now?

Even if you were right about your predictions, that everything you said came true overnight and you were on the verge of being burned at the stake for being a future-telling witch, why should I care? Why do I, the consumer, the gamer, need to care the exact units of consoles sold, the top games of every week, or what the majority of people are playing at any one given time? As long as each company isn’t in financial trouble, they’ll still be producing games that I will like or dislike not because everyone else said it was a great game, but because I in fact enjoyed playing this game. So please, Yahoo!, Stop trying to make this into some kind of epic struggle between giants. All I want to do is kill noobs, and perhaps a hooker or two, like an adult, without you telling me what I should and shouldn’t like.